Now this is the most popular question of all among readers. The answer is very little and alot...lol. Let me explain. As far as the sex scenario's and the different kinks involved very little of what I write we have engaged in. My wife and I are very monogamous and we aren't the sharing types but that would make for some very bland and boring fiction. Fiction is an escape and should be approached as such. That doesn't mean that nothing from the bedroom doesn't make it into my books. Quite the opposite in fact. In each story I always include at least one little tidbit from our sex life that has that extra bit of intimacy or spice to it. What bits are those? Mum's the word on that. I have to let the readers keep guessing on some stuff now don't I? And isn't it a bit more fun not knowing what parts may be written from reality and which ones weren't. Everyone will pick something different and I believe that heightens the fun of my erotica; if only by a little. But, just knowing there is a bit of truth in each story does help the reader keep that sexy little glint in their eyes as they peruse each explicit line and wonder- was this the part from their bedroom?
The human relationships in the story are where a writer has to stay true. I always ask- "How might someone in this position, given who they are, react in a realistic manner?" From there your characters can find their voice and they will guide you properly down their rightful path. Stay true to your characters and that will be reflected in your fiction and appreciated by your readers.
The question itself though has fascinated me because I think this is the only genre where that question is asked. Nobody asks in scifi if you really went to a far away planet and had an intergalactic adventure. That would be silly. Equally silly is asking if in our horror fiction we really helped save a town from a vengeful demon or in romance if that billionare really swept us off our feet and made all our dreams come true. And lastly we don't all have nine plus inch penises and 34DDD breasts. We are just people like you. But if you write erotica imaginations are sparked in the naughtiest of ways. Isn't that part of the fun? ;-)
So next time you read a piece of Erotica from me just remember that somewhere buried in all that steamy sex is a kernal of truth. I'll let you decide what kernal that is. ;-)